Home Economics

Back in 2008, Stephen Harper was in the news a lot. First, he gave his lovely speech with the sentiment that ordinary Canadians don’t relate to the arts, because of all of the “rich arts galas” they see on tv. Here’s the best clip I could find of it:

Then, a little further on in the year, you may remember that the opposition formed a coalition that came close to toppling his government. During this time, the front page of every newspaper everyday featured an image of an enraged, frankly terrifying, Stephen Harper screaming in Parliament. i.e.:

Being surrounded by all of this Harper visual culture eventually led me to making the inaugural batch of ‘Monster Cookies’ (a technique further developed and utilized for B.C. premier Gordon Campbell’s 2009 Arts Cuts).

The skin turned out drying a much deeper yellow than the pale pinky skin colour I mixed for it, as it was my first go with royal icing (which can be a real bitch, but I’m really getting the hang of it these days). Besides that, they were REALLY satisfying to make, physically and psychologically. Here are some fun process shots:

In closing to this post, here’s a clip of this same guy singing a Beatles song at one of ‘those’ galas:

…and here’s a song I think someone ought to sing to Mr. Harper:

Recently, the B.C. Provincial government cut arts and culture funding to a devastating extent. What’s a citizen to do? Well, follow these simple steps, and even if it doesn’t change anything, you and those around you may feel a little better.

STEP 1
Draw a pretty picture of the premier of British Columbia, Gordon Campbell.

STEP 2
Mold a piece of pliable metal into the shape of his head.

STEP 3
Make a large batch of sugar cookie dough. Be sure to add almond extract for the appropriate “nutty” flavour. Refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.

STEP 4
Roll out dough on a floured surface. Be sure to use all of that aggression that you have been holding in during this step. Use cookie cutter to cut out heads. Put Gordon Campbell’s heads into the pre-heated oven and bake until edges brown slightly. Cool completely.

STEP 5
Make a large batch of royal icing. Mix colours for each facial feature and store in lidded containers.

STEP 6
Google image Gordon Campbell for reference material. Decorate each face with Gordon’s true-to-life facial expressions.

STEP 7
When the cookies are dry, have a photo shoot. Distribute widely on the internet.

STEP 8
Google image Gordon’s mugshot from when he was arrested in Maui for drunk driving. Use Photoshop and InDesign to create templates for mugshot postcards. Ensure the postcard is addressed to:

STEP 9
When cookies are dry, put each one in a clear cellobag. Staple postcards to bottom, sealing each bag. Don’t forget to put postage on each card.

STEP 10
Distribute on mass scale. Encourage people to ‘take a bite out of crime’, and then place their thoughts on the state of things into the closest mail box.

ALSO, BE SURE TO CHECK OUT: the interview with the angry baker